Spend time with the right people

There’s nothing better than spending your time with the friends you love and knowing that they will still be your friends in a few years.

Rather than trying to invest your time in all sorts of activities, invest it in the right people. When you’re in good company it doesn’t matter what you do. It’s really irrelevant whether you’re out drinking expensive champagne in one of those fancy overpriced bars or if you’re bumming around at your house drinking Ice Tea.

If you’re simply checking off your to-do list, without taking care of whom you’re checking it off with, you’ll end up regretting it.

However, often we don’t realize that the people we’re spending time with right now, are not people that’ll stay in our life. That does not mean that you can’t have a good time with people who you know won’t be part of your life in 10 years.

As I’m writing this I’m thinking of an American guy that was camping right next to us at Rock-A-Field , whom we had a great time with, knowing very well that we won’t ever see him again (plus he probably died of an alcohol overdose)

Some people are simply not meant to stay in your life. They might just be the universe’s way of making you change your way of thinking on something. Sometimes, we’re not given second chances. Be aware that people are capable of wasting your time, time you won’t get back. Realize that life’s too short to spend it with the wrong people. Not everyone’s supposed to follow you on your path.

It’s not about what you spend your time on; it’s who you spend your time with.

Invent yourself,CK

Be picky with who you invest your time in. Wasted time is worse than wasted money. -Unknown

Happiness

Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on something? Some days, life seems to be standing still while running past us at the same time. We’re waiting for that day when everything will turn out great and we’ll  be happy. But having waited for that moment myself for quite some time, I’ve realized that we’re responsible for our own happiness. If you want something, go get it, it’s not going to come to you.

I don’t want to be one of these people who regret not having put enough effort into what they wanted when they were young. We are still young, we’ve still got the chance to turn our life into the life we want. We have to chase it with all we’ve got or we’ll end up unhappy. Now’s the moment to get what we want.

As we’re getting older, there are more and more responsibilities coming towards us, obstacles we have to overcome, problems we have to solve. Yet these are not supposed to stop us, that’s the universe’s way of testing our faith in ourselves and dreams. Don’t wait until you’ve reached that point in your life where your biggest dreams have to make space for responsibilities. I’ve said it before and I’m saying it again: life happens now.

Life can be hard, with school keeping us busy everyday and homework following ( I know this sounds like a first world problem and it probably is, I am very aware of the luck we have to be educated in one of the richest countries in Europe,but it’s a human trait to never be satisfied with what we have.) as well as daily tasks to finish, we risk to forget that there is more to life than this. What is our life worth if we don’t chase happiness?

I do not accept that going to bed everyday thinking about having to stand up early or about responsibilities that have to be fulfilled is all there is to life. There’s got to be more. But without a little faith in ourselves and the courage to generate happiness ourselves we’ll end up surviving instead of actually living.  Happiness is somewhere within us and it’s our duty to find it.

Invent yourself, CK

Happiness depends upon ourselves. – Aristotle

Here and now

I think we are all very aware of the fact that our life will change  in the near future. Some will attend university, some will start to work, but the life we know now- spending every Friday in Coffee Lounge or Downtown drinking Cappuccino- won’t stay the same. 

Knowing that we won’t live this kind of life forever, we try to retain as many memories as possible, taking photos or filming everything we want to remember- which is not a bad thing at all. Imagine being 80 years old, sitting in a rocking chair on your front porch and looking at a video of you and your friends stealing road signs while you’re really drunk, or a photo of your best friend drinking that champagne you stole from his dad’s basement. It’s actually a lovely  thought that one day you will be able to look back on today and remember the great time you had.

But the point I’m trying to make is, do not only think about that porch- don’t forget to actually live. It’s not all about capturing moments. Do not worry that you’ll forget something important that happened to you, rather try to enjoy every moment as much as you can.

Keep your phone in your pockets for once and record that moment with your eyes. It’s more important to have the photo in mind than on your phone. I’m not saying that you should never take photos of your friends and you dancing in a nightclub, I mean it’s pretty fun to watch it the next day when you’re hungover and condemn yourself for the embarrassment you put yourself into.

But don’t forget to actually live the moment, because memories are worth nothing if  you only care about making memories. You’ll regret it later. I think it’s more important to have fun during the good times than to capture them. (Note: Nobody cares about your 600 seconds long Snapchat-story of you and your friends dancing, please stop, the new update kinda forces us to watch it)

Memories are important but life’s happening now.

Invent yourself,CK

I have a lot of great memories, but I can’t imagine anything more exciting than the life I have now.  – Rob Lowe

Listening or waiting to speak?

A lot of people do not actually listen to what you have to say, they’re just waiting for you to finish so that they can start talking again. Most of the time, they have no intention to react to what you said. They’ll come up with something similar that happened to them. They don’t care about your story and will try to overplay you with their story.

But this is not how a conversation works, if you don’t want to hear what others have to say and only care about yourself, do not start a conversation. It’s really exhausting and frustrating for the other person as they will notice that what they say is of no worth for you and is not taken into account and will just let you speak, hoping that they can flee the conversation as soon as possible. Moreover they’ll probably start to avoid you.

It might take some time, but eventually everyone’s gonna know that talking to you is not something to look forward to and they won’t try to start a conversation. That will be the moment you’ll have to change your point of view about how a conversation works. I had a friend that wouldn’t let me give the chance to react, let alone tell something of my own. Once I realized that she wasn’t interested in what I had to say I swore myself that I wouldn’t spend time with her alone anymore.

I think that the most important thing to keep up a conversation is not having an interesting story on your mind. The most important thing is to listen what the other person has to say and react to it. It’s also the most difficult part of keeping a conversation alive, since we all think our stories are really interesting and everyone wants to hear them.

It might sound really paradoxical because I just said that I didn’t like talking to that friend because she wouldn’t stop speaking, yet I say it is more important to listen than to speak; but there’s a difference between carrying on a conversation and holding a monologue. If I wanted to listen to someone for hours without being able to speak, I’d go and listen to a politician.

A conversation is not a monologue.

Invent yourself,CK

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply – Stephen R. Covey

Who are you?

The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself – Thales

We grow everyday but forget that we are growing together, we influence each other more than we know. While we might not even know it, we could change someone’s life. You might have forgotten what you told someone months ago (compliment or insult), but that person could still be thinking about it. In the same way, we are affected by everyone we know and everything we experience. We grow up together and contribute to the personality of others.

We are part of something big, bigger than we could ever imagine. All of our actions, everything we say, everything that crosses our mind, changes the world around us. We are responsible for each other. In a city where everybody knows everybody, it’s important to be aware that we have a great impact on other people. Let me give you an example: A few weeks ago I saw a friend of mine had published his own track. This made me think about who I want to be. Seeing someone else follow his goals, what he loves, was inspiring and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have started this blog without him.

In the same way every action and every experience we’ve ever made has made us who we are today. If we grew up in another country, we’d be someone else. If we had chosen other friends in primary school, we’d be someone else. If we had not drunk that Trojka shot on the first Friday of secondary school, we’d be someone else.

This is why we will never stay the same person and change until the day of our death. As long as we live and perceive things, we change, making it impossible to answer the sleep-disturbing, all-subordinating, pathetic question:  Who am I? The question should rather be: Who do I want to be? This way we would be much more aware of our actions and realize that all of our actions have to follow our goals and approach us to the person we want to be.

Do not underestimate the impact you have on others and know that you can change someone’s life, without even knowing it. We are part of something big, we can change it to the better at any moment and should seize that chance.

Invent yourself,CK

You must be the change you wish to see in the world – Mahatma Gandhi

 

 

 

Bring back dates

‘I have to drink until I’m courageous enough to dance with her’
I’m aware that the way dating is depicted in movies is exaggerated but in Luxembourg, there seems to be no romance at all anymore.

You see a beautiful girl or some handsome guy and instead of just going over to her or him  and get to know them, you have to fear that you’ll be ridiculed by her friends for actually having the courage to meet someone in person and not on Facebook or Snapchat (which is really common because it’s so much easier to get to know each other if you have time to think about what you’ll say next. This way you can make them think that you’re really smart and funny when in reality you’re as smart as a stick).

The only other way is to wait for the person you fancy to accept a freebeer invitation on Facebook, where nobody cares who you’re talking to because everybody is drunk.
(Note:  how can you build a relationship if you won’t even remember the first time you talked to each other? I mean it’s not impossible, but there should be other options.)

I might be too harsh on this and you might argue that I’m overacting and that you should just go for it if you want to meet someone but I hope you’re aware that most people discourage others simply by giving them a daunting look (very common feature in Luxembourg).

A little more sympathy and a little more romance would do us good. Think about how your parents met, they couldn’t access social networks and hide behind their screen and got together anyway. Of course it’s awesome to be able to connect with people over internet but when it comes to love, you should grow a pair and talk to them, even if you risk being ridiculed. I mean you want to spend time with them, right? That’s the main desire if you like someone. Then why would you prevent this by writing them on Facebook, Snapchat etc. I know you can arrange to meet them on those networks but to say it in Ted Mosby’s words:

Nothing in this life quite compares to the sweet, terrifying exhilaration of making your move- when you just put it all on the line and go for it. (HIMYM)

I think we should go back to this. Bring back dates.
Invent yourself,CK

The thing about society

Expensive coats, image and gossip. Welcome to Luxembourg city.

That’s all we care about isn’t it?  As long as we wear the clothes everyone else wears and behave the way they do, we don’t have to fear that people will start hating on us. We’re afraid of being left out and not be part of society.

You know what’s the outcome of trying to be the same as everyone else? We forget who we are. Our individuality, if not stimulated, is wiped out. We believe that being the way everybody else is or imitating the so-called ‘famous people’ will make us happy. But it won’t. Disillusion will be the outcome either way. Even if we  convince ourselves that imitation is the key to happiness, it’s not. Of course it is easier to be a part of the group, but eventually we will only be happy if we choose to be who we are, even if this means that we have to separate ourselves from the group.

This insecurity is the main reason for gossip. Talking behind people’s back is a really common thing in Luxembourg. We are so used to it that we have come to accept it,  we’ve become the prey of an addicting pastime. In the 5 last years, I’ve seen quite a few friendships and relationships being destroyed by rumors. The downside of living in such a small country is that everyone knows everyone and can tell you lots about them  without even knowing them personally.

We are so afraid of being different to the mass that we condemn everybody who differs from us. We don’t support individuality. Because this might mean that other people would follow, it’d become a trend and we’d have to change our attitude. We start rumors and do everything to make this person feel bad, to make them get back into their place, where they belong and do not attract more attention than we do.

Gossiping can often be an act of jealousy. You don’t like someone? Don’t talk about them. You shouldn’t worry about the life of someone who is not part of your life, should you? And gossiping about friends is just sad. Gossiping does not make you a better person.

I’m not saying that I’ve never talked behind people’s back and I’m not trying to put myself on top of anybody, I’m just trying to describe the way I have experienced our society so far. Some people are so desperate to be recognized but instead of doing something of any worth, they try to make themselves look better by pulling others down. But this can’t be the path to a healthy lifestyle. Be true to yourself and

Invent yourself, CK


 

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them – Will Rogers

 

To be or not to be

William Shakespeare, The Tragicall Historie of Hamlet

We are all trying to invent ourselves, to find out who we really are and be happy with who we are. Being an adolescent is a full-time job; as soon as you think that you’ve finally found out who you are, your brain feels bored and makes you reconsider your lifestyle.

You can never be sure about whether you’ll  stick to what you said or did. Your opinion changes as often as the hair color of any middle-aged woman, meaning  about every second week. (I would know,trust me)

The more convinced you are that you’ve finally found what makes you truly happy, the more likely it’s not. How often have you listened to a song of an until then unknown artist and thought that it would be your lifetime-song? I guess we all remember Donald Trump by Mac Miller. Haven’t heard this song since Rock-a-field 2012. My taste in music has since then changed at least 10 times,going from Dubstep to HipHop to Rap to the more commercial songs and back every 2 months.

But this is not necessarily a bad thing. Change is important and builds character. This is also why our surroundings do not stay the same. Where we tend to think that we did something wrong when looking back and realize we lost people we thought would stay a lifetime, we should accept the fact that we change; and so do other people.

A great percentage of our discomfort is based on other people, on so called friends we trust and think we can depend on as well as on people we consider enemies .I’m sure that most of you have had friends, whom you don’t even talk to anymore, whom you don’t even greet when you see them. But who’s to blame?  Is there even someone to blame or is it just part of growing up? We tend to forget that although we shouldn’t, we rely on other people. This is why our happiness as well as our sadness does not only depend on the way we think. I mean you can still try and be positive about everything that happens but from time to time, there is this abyss we fall in and think we can never get out of. And really often it’s linked to enemies, friends or lovers.

We’ll figure it all out, and we’ll find out who we really are. Trust the universe, it will work out.

This is why I’m starting this blog.  I’m gonna try to free myself by writing and I invite you to follow me on this journey.

 

Invent yourself, CK


 

This above all: to thine own self be true