Something Special About Us

I’m not sure if that’s what every generation says about themselves but I have a feeling that we’re doing much better than is expected from us.

When I look around I see young women not tolerating any bullshit from any man anymore. I see activists, people who want to be part of the country’s politics to be able to change something. To fix what others messed up. I see artists. Singers. Songwriters. DJs. Producers. Dancers.

I see young people having startups before they’ve finished high school. People who refuse nine-to-five jobs. People finding ways to make money with what they love. People learning from their mistakes and those of others. I see people no longer caring about what others think about them. People daring to be who they are. I see more uniqueness. More openness towards individuality.

But most importantly, I see a generation in which people have become aware of how important it is to take care of themselves and the people around them. We have started to reach out for one another. Started to accept mistakes. Started to accept that perfection isn’t an option. We have made ourselves a priority.

Now, how does that make us any better than any generation before us? I believe that the support and love I see around me is real. I see honest and critical minds. Less followers and more pioneers. I see refusal. Refusal to accept bad things. Refusal to accept that bad things must remain because “that’s the way it has always been”.

I see people who are no longer afraid of change. People who seek change. People who understand the necessity of change. And the necessity of faith and courage. The necessity to stand up for their rights. To stand up for those who can’t.

One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised.

-Chinua Achebe

Be proud of who you are!! Please let us not be compromised when we can be so much more…

Invent yourself, CK

Forgiveness

Should you forgive people who have wronged you?

I believe that, while forgiving others can be both a gesture of your own greatness and stupidity (fool me once…), more thought should be attributed to the forgiveness of yourself. We all walk down our own path of life and sooner or later you are going to take decisions that will change your life for the better or the worse. Let’s focus on these decisions that’ll turn out to be bad. You’re going to look back one day and realize that what you did was wrong.

And you’ll realize that you can’t take back words you said, nor can you undo the things you did. You don’t get to press restart. Maybe you’ve hurt somebody. And you feel regret and you’d do anything to go back to that particular day. Because it’s all you think about and you want to show that what you did was a mistake, you want to show the world and yourself that this mistake is not who you are, prove that you’re not a bad person.

But as appealing as it is, that’s not how things work. You ruin your inner peace because you won’t stop thinking about that one mistake and you start judging yourself. Because you don’t let go of the past. Because you don’t forgive yourself. Because you do not accept that you’re flawed. You do not want to accept that mistakes are part of life.

But a mistake is a mistake and it will still be a mistake in 20 years. You can spend the rest of your life looking back at that moment, accusing yourself. Or you choose to forgive yourself and let the past be in the past. Let yourself be human. Because forgiving yourself does not mean that you ignore what you did. It does not mean that you choose to delete part of your past. It merely means you’re ready to accept imperfection.

Make the mistakes work for you, let them teach you to become a better you.


“The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.” -Rafiki (The Lion King)

Invent yourself, CK

When it Rains it Pours

Update: the most important thing I’ve learned from living on my own is that I do not want to live alone again. Ever.

I do not intend this to become a blog about myself, as in me writing about the random stuff that happens in my life that no one cares about anyway, I just want you to know why I’m writing what I’m writing.

I dropped out of university 2 weeks ago for multiple reasons, the main one being that I felt like my mind was going crazy. Now I’m back in Luxembourg, constantly wondering if I overreacted and if I should have given it more thought, maybe after some time I would have liked it. I’ll never know.

But here’s what I want to say and what I believe.

There is literally nothing on this earth that matters more than your mental health. Nothing. No money, no friends. No school or workplace.

If you suffer, and think that you won’t ever be able to sleep again because your mind won’t stop producing the weirdest stuff, you’ve got to do something.

When I came back last week, I was lucky enough to talk to a friend who had dropped out a few weeks before me. When I found out that he was having the same thoughts, the same feeling of panic, the same uncertainty, I felt much better because it showed me that I wasn’t alone.

My point is that first of all, you are allowed to feel bad and depressed and worry about your future. You are allowed (and encouraged) to annoy your people with any worries you have. It sounds like some lame Tumblr post but talking is the most effective medicine. If you feel like you need help, get help. You were born alone and you’ll die alone, but in between, you don’t have to be lonely.

Second of all, do not forget that we are still young. And when you’re young you underestimate your own strength and overestimate every mishap in your life. Every bad thing always seems like it’s the end of the world.  It often seems like life will never be good again, and everything and everyone is going against you. You feel betrayed by life, because your mind no longer takes into consideration how lucky you are to be alive.

But you are, and life will pay you back for all the suffering you had to go through. It won’t rain forever. Try to remind yourself of all the good things in your life, they are there. Try to remind yourself everyday of all the things you are grateful for. And the bad things will eventually fade. Promise.

The average age of death in Luxembourg is 81. We have spent less than 1 quarter of our lives. Do not expect yourself to have it all figured out. Hang in there.

Invent yourself, CK

To the woman of my life

People say the most important thing in our lives is finding someone who’ll make us forget all worries in the world. But the only person in the world able to make you feel better by a simple hug is your mother. There’s just nothing like it. The love from a mother is irreplaceable and unique.

We often forget how much our mothers had to give up to enable us the life they think we deserve.They pretty much had to give up everything they had before. They do so much for us and all they expect is respect and love. A mother’s love is the only love that’ll never cease. Mothers are the first and last to love their child. The bond between mother and child is stronger than any other relationship, it’s all about unconditional love. She loves you before she has even seen you once.

Mothers understand when we’re sad, they just know when something is wrong. A loving mother never stops protecting her child. It’s not about age, she’ll do anything in her power to shield it even when she’ll need a walking stick and has grey hair.

Children are the most important things in a mother’s life. If you can, show your mother how much she means to you. Don’t take the person that made you who you are today for granted. They don’t expect much. They just want love.

Thank you for making me who I am today, thank you for going through my ups and downs  without losing hope. Thank you for teaching me how to get through tough times and how to cope with them. Thank you for comforting me. Thank you for always being there for me and thank you for giving me advice when I need it. Thank you for showing me that family is the most important thing in life. Thank you for being who you are. I hope you never lose faith.

“A mother loves her children unconditionally. However they wrong her, she’ll carry on loving them.”
― Alaa Al Aswany

Happy birthday Mum

CK

The past is a candle at great distance: too close to let you quit, too far to comfort you.-Amy Bloom

      About Nostalgia

If I had to select the worst kind suffering I have felt, it’d be nostalgia. There’s nothing quite like it. Once you’ve opened the door to look back and dwell in memories, it’s really hard to get out of this room full of memories, reminding you of better times.

Worst thing about nostalgia is, there’s no way to prevent it. Most often it’s a protective mechanism, trying to prevent suffering due to a current situation.

Seemingly irrelevant things,like smells, pictures or songs can be door openers to this memory chamber, that you won’t want to ever leave. You’ll look for hiding places between passed moments of joy and happiness and you’ll feel good, at least for a little moment, which is why you’ll have a hard time making it out of this room full of comfort.

Sooner or later you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that you can’t live your life looking back, nor is it possible to live your life backwards. This is why it is important to realize that when you feel nostalgic, it’s the result of unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Nostalgia is nothing else than a sign to get up and change your current life situation. Make it your goal to feel nostalgic on the following day and you’ll never have to endure this kind of suffering another day in your life .

Nostalgia is an illness for those who haven’t realized that today is tomorrow’s nostalgia.-  Zeena Schreck

A life spent in memories is a wasted life. A life spent in memories is a life spent in lies. Memories are never exact copies of reality, they show us what we want to see. The room filled with memories is an idealized version of our past.

Get out of that room.

Invent yourself,CK

Who are you?

The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself – Thales

We grow everyday but forget that we are growing together, we influence each other more than we know. While we might not even know it, we could change someone’s life. You might have forgotten what you told someone months ago (compliment or insult), but that person could still be thinking about it. In the same way, we are affected by everyone we know and everything we experience. We grow up together and contribute to the personality of others.

We are part of something big, bigger than we could ever imagine. All of our actions, everything we say, everything that crosses our mind, changes the world around us. We are responsible for each other. In a city where everybody knows everybody, it’s important to be aware that we have a great impact on other people. Let me give you an example: A few weeks ago I saw a friend of mine had published his own track. This made me think about who I want to be. Seeing someone else follow his goals, what he loves, was inspiring and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have started this blog without him.

In the same way every action and every experience we’ve ever made has made us who we are today. If we grew up in another country, we’d be someone else. If we had chosen other friends in primary school, we’d be someone else. If we had not drunk that Trojka shot on the first Friday of secondary school, we’d be someone else.

This is why we will never stay the same person and change until the day of our death. As long as we live and perceive things, we change, making it impossible to answer the sleep-disturbing, all-subordinating, pathetic question:  Who am I? The question should rather be: Who do I want to be? This way we would be much more aware of our actions and realize that all of our actions have to follow our goals and approach us to the person we want to be.

Do not underestimate the impact you have on others and know that you can change someone’s life, without even knowing it. We are part of something big, we can change it to the better at any moment and should seize that chance.

Invent yourself,CK

You must be the change you wish to see in the world – Mahatma Gandhi