audentes fortuna iuvat

The reasons that keep me from writing, from creating anything that might or might not be of artistic worth are numerous, or so I keep telling myself. Keeping up with university work, Sports, Netflix, meeting friends to have 27 drinks too many, the thereof resulting hangovers, the endless and mindless scrolling through the same 3 apps a 100 times a day. All these things, I tell myself, are the reasons that delay my writing. But honestly, I know that they are not the true reasons, I know that I could easily find time to do what I really like to do. Here’s why I really keep myself from sitting in front of my desk, open WordPress and my notes on my phone (consisting of random small ideas and single words that no longer make any sense to me at all, but at the time of writing them down seemed to be brilliant ideas for new posts) and why I prefer to lie in bed to rewatch Friends over and over again.

I’m afraid to fail. Always have. I’ve always had the stupid idea in my head that failing at anything would put me in a dangerous place in terms of mental health. As in, I thought of myself as being unable to deal with failing. As in, I forbid myself to fail to preserve my strength. As in, me failing at anything would make a failure out of me. I grew up in an extremely fortunate environment: teachers that really cared about my grades and well-being, parents who would drop everything to help with anything school-related. I am thankful everyday and I know that the people around me tried to protect me from everything to spare me any trouble.

But every coin has two sides. While, up to now, I never had any major trouble in terms of my academic path, it prevented me from ever having to deal with failure. I never had to endure the pain of knowing that I would probably fail my year or even just a class and therefore never developed the consciousness of my own strength, of the possibility to get myself out of difficult situations. I know I have it in me, I know I’m much more resistent than I tend to think of myself and I know every single person on this planet has it in them. Some people, like me, just never have dared to look for it, because they’re afraid that they would be looking for something only to find out that it doesn’t exist.

That is why I refrain from starting new projects, because I know I will not immediately be good at it (crazy concept…) and why I refrain from starting to write. I’m aware of the possibility of failure at any time and I’m worried that I wouldn’t be able to deal with not succeeding in my endeavors, that it would hinder my development as a writer. A thought process, which from this new perspective I recently adopted, is non-sense. The only thing that can really keep me from progressing in my projects is if I do not engage with them at all. The only real obstacle any of us have to face is fear.

Life has a plan for everyone. Even when we think that we’re going in circles, that we’re going backwards or that we’ve have lost sight of the path we once took, it’s still there. What I’ve been trying to teach myself is that mistakes, wrong decisions and failures do not blur our vision of the path we’re walking. Every situation in which we accept the possibility of defeat, of failure, of hurting ourselves, is like a lens that improves our sight of the track that’s under our feet. With every risky decision that might come back at us, that might hunt us for a while, that keeps us awake at night, we start to see clearer until one day our perception of the path will be so crystal clear that we’ll wonder how we could ever doubt its existence.

Failure does not make us weak. We should always see it as a result of courage, of daring to take blind steps into the unknown. If we dare to fail, we set up success. audentes fortuna iuvat. Fortune favours the bold. Be bold enough to fail.

Invent yourself, CK

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default. -J.K. Rowling

nicotine is out

In times of endless possibilities to keep in touch with others, we’ve become more anti-social than ever. We’re slowly becoming a society full of people who live in their phones , rather than using it as a tool. The roles are reversed, phones have started telling their owners what to do. They own people.

The various profiles we created to fake a perfect life, made us so aware of how we’re supposed to present ourselves, to show the best of us in every situation. We’re worried that people will notice that this is not who we are in real life. We’re no longer hiding behind false fronts, we have turned into them.

On the one hand, when we’re in public, we’re looking at our phones, pretending to be really busy, hoping no one looks at us or judges us. As soon as we look up, we see other people avoiding social contact in just the same way, for what?

On the other hand we’re seeking social contact, we’re looking for social interaction. That’s something you can’t find on a phone, yet we replace real, face to face communication with chats. We’re becoming robots, machines, addicted to our phones. While social networks are meant to communicate, we’re losing the ability to actually keep up a real conversation, simply because we’re no longer used to it. An online chat is not an alternative to a real conversation.

We’re bored of reality, we think that we can find real life on the internet and hope to find purpose on our phones, where all we really find are Donald Trump memes. How  do people not realize that phones are keeping them from living? How much more could we do if  we spent this time, looking down at phones, to improve our lives and change the world around us. We’re so keen to find out who we are, who we want to be, yet we waste our time because we’re afraid of real life and would rather be entertained. In my view, exchanging personal growth with entertainment is not too great of a deal.

You’re human, perfection is not an option, accept it. Don’t hide who you are. Put down your phone  and talk to the people you love.

Invent yourself,CK


The more social media we have, the more we think we’re connecting, yet we are really disconnecting from each other. – JR

To the woman of my life

People say the most important thing in our lives is finding someone who’ll make us forget all worries in the world. But the only person in the world able to make you feel better by a simple hug is your mother. There’s just nothing like it. The love from a mother is irreplaceable and unique.

We often forget how much our mothers had to give up to enable us the life they think we deserve.They pretty much had to give up everything they had before. They do so much for us and all they expect is respect and love. A mother’s love is the only love that’ll never cease. Mothers are the first and last to love their child. The bond between mother and child is stronger than any other relationship, it’s all about unconditional love. She loves you before she has even seen you once.

Mothers understand when we’re sad, they just know when something is wrong. A loving mother never stops protecting her child. It’s not about age, she’ll do anything in her power to shield it even when she’ll need a walking stick and has grey hair.

Children are the most important things in a mother’s life. If you can, show your mother how much she means to you. Don’t take the person that made you who you are today for granted. They don’t expect much. They just want love.

Thank you for making me who I am today, thank you for going through my ups and downs  without losing hope. Thank you for teaching me how to get through tough times and how to cope with them. Thank you for comforting me. Thank you for always being there for me and thank you for giving me advice when I need it. Thank you for showing me that family is the most important thing in life. Thank you for being who you are. I hope you never lose faith.

“A mother loves her children unconditionally. However they wrong her, she’ll carry on loving them.”
― Alaa Al Aswany

Happy birthday Mum

CK

The past is a candle at great distance: too close to let you quit, too far to comfort you.-Amy Bloom

      About Nostalgia

If I had to select the worst kind suffering I have felt, it’d be nostalgia. There’s nothing quite like it. Once you’ve opened the door to look back and dwell in memories, it’s really hard to get out of this room full of memories, reminding you of better times.

Worst thing about nostalgia is, there’s no way to prevent it. Most often it’s a protective mechanism, trying to prevent suffering due to a current situation.

Seemingly irrelevant things,like smells, pictures or songs can be door openers to this memory chamber, that you won’t want to ever leave. You’ll look for hiding places between passed moments of joy and happiness and you’ll feel good, at least for a little moment, which is why you’ll have a hard time making it out of this room full of comfort.

Sooner or later you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that you can’t live your life looking back, nor is it possible to live your life backwards. This is why it is important to realize that when you feel nostalgic, it’s the result of unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Nostalgia is nothing else than a sign to get up and change your current life situation. Make it your goal to feel nostalgic on the following day and you’ll never have to endure this kind of suffering another day in your life .

Nostalgia is an illness for those who haven’t realized that today is tomorrow’s nostalgia.-  Zeena Schreck

A life spent in memories is a wasted life. A life spent in memories is a life spent in lies. Memories are never exact copies of reality, they show us what we want to see. The room filled with memories is an idealized version of our past.

Get out of that room.

Invent yourself,CK