Why do so many people take so much time to worry about the future, yet spend a minimal amount of time to take a breath, look back and see how far they’ve come? Asking for a friend…Continue reading Celebrate your Wins
Should you forgive people who have wronged you?
I believe that, while forgiving others can be both a gesture of your own greatness and stupidity (fool me once…), more thought should be attributed to the forgiveness of yourself. We all walk down our own path of life and sooner or later you are going to take decisions that will change your life for the better or the worse. Let’s focus on these decisions that’ll turn out to be bad. You’re going to look back one day and realize that what you did was wrong.
And you’ll realize that you can’t take back words you said, nor can you undo the things you did. You don’t get to press restart. Maybe you’ve hurt somebody. And you feel regret and you’d do anything to go back to that particular day. Because it’s all you think about and you want to show that what you did was a mistake, you want to show the world and yourself that this mistake is not who you are, prove that you’re not a bad person.
But as appealing as it is, that’s not how things work. You ruin your inner peace because you won’t stop thinking about that one mistake and you start judging yourself. Because you don’t let go of the past. Because you don’t forgive yourself. Because you do not accept that you’re flawed. You do not want to accept that mistakes are part of life.
But a mistake is a mistake and it will still be a mistake in 20 years. You can spend the rest of your life looking back at that moment, accusing yourself. Or you choose to forgive yourself and let the past be in the past. Let yourself be human. Because forgiving yourself does not mean that you ignore what you did. It does not mean that you choose to delete part of your past. It merely means you’re ready to accept imperfection.
Make the mistakes work for you, let them teach you to become a better you.
“The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.” -Rafiki (The Lion King)
Invent yourself, CK
Update: the most important thing I’ve learned from living on my own is that I do not want to live alone again. Ever.
I do not intend this to become a blog about myself, as in me writing about the random stuff that happens in my life that no one cares about anyway, I just want you to know why I’m writing what I’m writing.
I dropped out of university 2 weeks ago for multiple reasons, the main one being that I felt like my mind was going crazy. Now I’m back in Luxembourg, constantly wondering if I overreacted and if I should have given it more thought, maybe after some time I would have liked it. I’ll never know.
But here’s what I want to say and what I believe.
There is literally nothing on this earth that matters more than your mental health. Nothing. No money, no friends. No school or workplace.
If you suffer, and think that you won’t ever be able to sleep again because your mind won’t stop producing the weirdest stuff, you’ve got to do something.
When I came back last week, I was lucky enough to talk to a friend who had dropped out a few weeks before me. When I found out that he was having the same thoughts, the same feeling of panic, the same uncertainty, I felt much better because it showed me that I wasn’t alone.
My point is that first of all, you are allowed to feel bad and depressed and worry about your future. You are allowed (and encouraged) to annoy your people with any worries you have. It sounds like some lame Tumblr post but talking is the most effective medicine. If you feel like you need help, get help. You were born alone and you’ll die alone, but in between, you don’t have to be lonely.
Second of all, do not forget that we are still young. And when you’re young you underestimate your own strength and overestimate every mishap in your life. Every bad thing always seems like it’s the end of the world. It often seems like life will never be good again, and everything and everyone is going against you. You feel betrayed by life, because your mind no longer takes into consideration how lucky you are to be alive.
But you are, and life will pay you back for all the suffering you had to go through. It won’t rain forever. Try to remind yourself of all the good things in your life, they are there. Try to remind yourself everyday of all the things you are grateful for. And the bad things will eventually fade. Promise.
The average age of death in Luxembourg is 81. We have spent less than 1 quarter of our lives. Do not expect yourself to have it all figured out. Hang in there.
Invent yourself, CK
Life is made of obstacles and conflicts with people who want to see you go down. Yet, the final enemy will always be you. No one knows your weaknesses better,no one knows how to harm you better, no one stands closer to yourself. The relation with your inner self is the one you need to focus on most.
It’s all about the mindset, you will always find enemies around you, there will always be people who want to do better than you, who want to see you struggle. This is why it is important that you choose not to add another enemy to this group. You can either be the one stopping you from ever getting where you want to be or you can use the energy you’re wasting on smashing and destroying your self-confidence, to create the strongest version of yourself.
Nothing will throw you off track, because you don’t blame yourself anymore. It’s one thing to be self-critical, it’s another to bash yourself for every little mistake you make. Self-sabotage destroys any feeling of self-worth.
Inner conflicts can be devastating, they will keep you from progressing and you’ll always worry about other people thinking you’re not good enough, since you don’t accept that you’re flawed, that you’re human. People who see that you enjoy being you will react to it and treat you like you treat yourself. Before respecting other people, respect yourself.
If you go through life fighting yourself, worrying about your ability or about how other people perceive what you do and who you are, you can never reach what you could reach. It’s a way of wasting your potential. No one will believe in you if you don’t show them how. You are the only person who will always be by your side. Think of it as a second person, who’s able to gild every other voice around you. Now imagine it goofing on you for every decision you take…
If you let it, it can be your worst enemy, an enemy you can’t get rid of, who will follow you to your deathbed. Or it can be your greatest supporter, who stands by you whenever.
Make sure your worst enemy doesn’t live between your own two ears.- Laird Hamilton